April A-Z: Divvying and Dreaming

This past March was tense and difficult.  The 11th was Babu’s birthday but instead of her, we had a job.  Adam’s uncle, Tony, came from Tennessee and helped to start the process of doling out things that were hers and now theirs.  You can imagine how that can go.  At some point one night during…

April A-Z: Absence

… This is having no reason to keep 480 packets of Polident. (We were unable to throw it out.) An empty room. (Filling with boxes to be sent.  This one to Tennessee, this one just down the street.) 2:00 comes (routine, routine, routine) and there’s nothing to do. We have started to fill our time…

A-Z Challenge Theme Reveal!

Hello everyone.  I have not been around these parts much lately.  As I have been working on drafts of posts and going back through all stuff Babu and this blog, I have been feeling myself unwind and feel lighter.  I need to get back to writing and here is my push! The April A-Z Challenge. …

Together

It has been a little over two months since Babu passed.  It’s been hard, living here with all of her things, but not her.  Husband and I have been finding moments of joy and some of bittersweetness.  Her birthday is quickly rushing toward me.  It is next month.  It will be a really hard time…

Babu: 1918-2018

It is with an extremely heavy heart that I post this update.  In fact, I’ve been avoiding it for two and a half weeks.  We have lost Babu.  She was a hundred and a half and she went peacefully and quickly.  It’s been a hard holiday and long December.  I’m in the process of healing…

Searching for Stanley: Part Two

A cemetery can haunt you. I visited two days ago and I cannot get that place out of my mind.  I’m processing…well, the meaning of life and death, I guess.  I certainly want to do more research and go back and spend some more time. As I alluded to in yesterday’s post, Stanley was not…

All The Best Intentions…

For the last two days I have been working on a post that seems too big for one post and too big for only two or three days worth of processing and reflecting.  It is about, well, mostly about, or maybe only a little bit about, “Jakey.”   I have been processing something about “Jakey”…

The Reluctant Gatekeeper

In a way, I have become the gatekeeper of Babu’s memories.  I don’t relish the responsibility.  On her own, her memories both have abandoned her and hold her hostage.  There is a lot she can no longer remember and even less she talks about and focuses on.  Some things she obsesses about.  One thing in…

Writing Wednesdays: All The Feels

Distractions!  Flowers and kittens and my dog and funny hats and clown noses.  Whatever it takes.  I’m not talking about distractions from my writing time, all I need is my phone for that.  I’m talking about distracting Babu from things that upset her.  This is more important than making her happy, it’s keeping her healthy. …

In Honor of Milton Adams

I hope you have never had the experience of pulling up to a familiar place, your home, your work, or a friends house, and seeing the immediate signs that something wrong has happened.  There is nothing worse then that sinking feeling.  In October, 1937, Babu writes: Monday, October 18th, 1937 This morning Jaime gave me…

Babu Update (and a bit of an update on me;)

Happy December everyone!  I have been away from the blog and the entire transcribing project for a while, but it has never been far from my mind, for two reasons.  I’ll get to those later. First, Babu is fine.  To elaborate further, she’s developed eczema over her whole body which we have a hard time…

You Must Wait

The air was heavy with ghosts today and the pages of her 1935 journal were full of them.  I sat across the breakfast table with Babu and she talked with so much emphasis about her friend, Ernestine Jones.  She gets this tone to her voice when she’s expressing love, and her words go on just…