Restructuring

It’s such a relief to be back on this blog and to be working on this project.  So where have I been since midway through last April?  Many of my excuses are: life!  I love my job and it keeps me busy.  There are all the other regular things as well to keep me running….

Lost Communication

The anniversary is approaching and I am feeling a bit raw.  I’m surprised at this. I keep reminding myself of the full life she lead, of how it was her time to go and of how it’s ok to feel sorrow but I can focus on those good, sweet memories as well.  But I just…

Thankful to Be Back, and for Other Things

Hello.  I have been away for so long.  An explanation, really just a list of excuses, is forthcoming.  The important part:  I want back in!  Of course, I don’t know if I can keep my word and keep posting on a regular basis.  But I want back in!!! I decided to post a quick piece…

April A-Z: Divvying and Dreaming

This past March was tense and difficult.  The 11th was Babu’s birthday but instead of her, we had a job.  Adam’s uncle, Tony, came from Tennessee and helped to start the process of doling out things that were hers and now theirs.  You can imagine how that can go.  At some point one night during…

April A-Z: Absence

… This is having no reason to keep 480 packets of Polident. (We were unable to throw it out.) An empty room. (Filling with boxes to be sent.  This one to Tennessee, this one just down the street.) 2:00 comes (routine, routine, routine) and there’s nothing to do. We have started to fill our time…

A-Z Challenge Theme Reveal!

Hello everyone.  I have not been around these parts much lately.  As I have been working on drafts of posts and going back through all stuff Babu and this blog, I have been feeling myself unwind and feel lighter.  I need to get back to writing and here is my push! The April A-Z Challenge. …

Together

It has been a little over two months since Babu passed.  It’s been hard, living here with all of her things, but not her.  Husband and I have been finding moments of joy and some of bittersweetness.  Her birthday is quickly rushing toward me.  It is next month.  It will be a really hard time…

Babu: 1918-2018

It is with an extremely heavy heart that I post this update.  In fact, I’ve been avoiding it for two and a half weeks.  We have lost Babu.  She was a hundred and a half and she went peacefully and quickly.  It’s been a hard holiday and long December.  I’m in the process of healing…

Searching for Stanley: Part Two

A cemetery can haunt you. I visited two days ago and I cannot get that place out of my mind.  I’m processing…well, the meaning of life and death, I guess.  I certainly want to do more research and go back and spend some more time. As I alluded to in yesterday’s post, Stanley was not…

All The Best Intentions…

For the last two days I have been working on a post that seems too big for one post and too big for only two or three days worth of processing and reflecting.  It is about, well, mostly about, or maybe only a little bit about, “Jakey.”   I have been processing something about “Jakey”…

The Reluctant Gatekeeper

In a way, I have become the gatekeeper of Babu’s memories.  I don’t relish the responsibility.  On her own, her memories both have abandoned her and hold her hostage.  There is a lot she can no longer remember and even less she talks about and focuses on.  Some things she obsesses about.  One thing in…

Writing Wednesdays: All The Feels

Distractions!  Flowers and kittens and my dog and funny hats and clown noses.  Whatever it takes.  I’m not talking about distractions from my writing time, all I need is my phone for that.  I’m talking about distracting Babu from things that upset her.  This is more important than making her happy, it’s keeping her healthy. …