The anniversary is approaching and I am feeling a bit raw. I’m surprised at this. I keep reminding myself of the full life she lead, of how it was her time to go and of how it’s ok to feel sorrow but I can focus on those good, sweet memories as well. But I just miss her. A student of mine just lost his grandmother and I made sure to tell him that I understand how important grandmothers are. In a fit of grief yesterday, I heard him yell “And now she’s gone!” He was deciding whether or not to break up with his girlfriend and came to the realization that he couldn’t go to his grandmother for advice. He could no longer talk with her.
When Babu passed this is what I realized is the hardest about loosing someone. You can never talk to them again. Anything you want or need to know, you can’t ask. That time is up. Advice, comfort, it’s gone.
Grief is just coming face to face with the realization that they are just gone, again and again until it doesn’t sting any more.
This is a conversation I had with her about something in read in her diary. I miss talking with her so much.