Monday, July 4th, 1938
Sometime I wonder if I’ll be happy. Tonight I’m going to bed at nine. The girls have gone to Forest Park to see the fireworks. I didn’t go cause I didn’t like the way my folks said I could go. Mother is still angry since Friday. We girls went up to Sandy Hill this afternoon and saw some wrestling and boxing and jumping and running. Still part of the celebration.
I know that feeling when everything feels wrong and you can’t even put a finger on what’s bothering you.
Wednesday, July 6th, 1938
The girls have been letting me split my lunch hour so that I can see Ernie from 1 to 1:30. Hitchcock reprimanded both Emmy and me for our colored nails. Zosh worked on the farm today and has a serious burn. She starts in the 5+10 Friday. Eddie, Zosh, Max Stadnicki, and I played tennis at Danas. Eddie and John C. have signed up for the Navy. John L. goes about by himself and the boys look at me askance for hurting him. Gee I’m going to be a hermit.
How dare anyone look at her askance!
Friday, July 29th, 1938
I saw Benny tonight. He held me in his arms and we danced. Asked me a lot of questions I didn’t answer. Said he came down to see me. Told me I was the only girl he loved forever. And I laughed it off not believing of course. My Benny has changed. Faster life. Well, you know. I guess it’s because I went out with him that I still yearn. After our number I looked the other way most of the time.
I gasp at the romance of this. Not only the moment, but the romance in her writing. Simple words, mostly only what was said and done, and in the passage the actions, her laughter at his profession of love, her turning away, spoke much louder than the words.
Saturday, July 30th, 1938
The crying spells are back since I’ve seen Benny. Cried last night and at times during the day. Kept thinking about who he’s taking tonight and that last night was the last time I’d see him. Feel or rather don’t feel much tonight. Told Sophie about it and got it off my chest. Mother is feeling worse every day. I hope god keeps her for us.
There is more heartache here then just heartache over Benny. I still don’t understand what is wrong with her mother, but what a frightening statement. There is a mystery surrounding this that I haven’t been able to get Babu to help me solve, but maybe her diaries will. (Although they are being frustratingly vague.) I will share more about this in another post.
Sunday, July 31st, 1938
And who do you think I went out with tonight? Jacob Stefanik. Zosh and I were in the store and afterwards the boy with him picked us up and went back for Jakie and we went to some place in Fairview. Jakie is quite a boy. Asked me to go to Forest Lake Friday and Zosh with the other boy. But I wonder what Sophie will say when I tell her?
Will this bloom into something? We will have to see.