Hello!  I’m writing this post on Jan 4th although it will be published on Saturday. It’s no secret that I schedule posts so that I can get a few days ahead.  This is what this post is about.  My decision to post every day this year.

The problem is how good I am feeling.

I do this.  I feel good and happy and mentally, if not physically, rested and I try to take on way too much.

And I know this about myself so I always try to talk myself down.  Set reasonable, reachable goals, Angie.  I don’t do things impulsively.  Any time I do something a little crazy or take on too much, it’s more embarrassing to say, I have really thought about it. The whole pros and cons list.  I just can’t talk myself out of challenges.  I love to be challenged.

It’s not the posting for every day which is an overwhelming task.  It’s not the transcribing, picture taking, uploading and semi downloading and then posting – don’t ask it’s just my process – it’s not the discussions with Babu that need so much to all be a part of it that is making it difficult.

It is the fear that my other writings – and my plans – plans damn it not hopes or dreams! – to make a movie this year – are going to suffer.  Dissonance needs one more revision – or more – and then I really want to throw my effort into getting an agent and getting published.  (No small goals here!)

I’m also planning a new novel and/or short story collection.

Not to mention I have to go to work.    Yea.  If you get the sense that I truly, faithfully took the plunge to be a full time writer, you are right.  I did that.  For three months.  Then I got a part time job which sometimes schedules me five times a week.  I really need it for many reasons and I love the place and the people.  I will always be resentful, however, of any activity that takes me away from writing.  Even cleaning the house, especially cleaning the house, time spent with friends, the time it takes to take a shower… anything where I’m not writing.  And sometimes that includes blogging.  I want to sink into the creative stuff, silence the characters’ voices that say –

Hey, we’ve been talking to you a long time, you only wrote ten pages, and it’s time you give us some attention.

But I’m not changing a thing.  I’m not altering a single goal.  I made the joke to my mom “I’ve gotten up at 7 every morning this year!”  Yes!  Even New Year’s day!  That’s funny because the night owl in me is strong.  But that’s how I’ve been getting stuff done.  And I feel rested if not a little frantic, but I’m in it for the scurry.  I want to keep full steam ahead because I love it.  I love doing it.  It might not ever be what gives me the pay out or the push my writing career needs, but I’m so in love with it.

I’m going to do it all.  I feel so good since 2017 started.  I know it’s only been four days but I’ll be productive during these good days and practice self care during the stressed out ones.  With goals like this all the days are stressful and that can be good, but there are times I get stressed out.  Last night I got home from work and wanted to get some writing done, but I felt a little frantic.  So I legoed.  🙂  Self care!  #MFOAL!  #AFOAL!