What does this silence speak?

What did my silence from this blog for so long indicate?

And what does her silent reading now show?

I’m back at it so I bring all of March 1935’s journals down to Babu.  She begins reading and, like every single other time, she tells me: “I’ve never seen Jenete written that way.”  Then she slowly spells it out for me correctly.

“Do you remember what these are?”

She reads the date and says:  “It’s unlikely.”  And I need to explain it to a very quiet Babu that these are the journals she wrote.  She has forgotten our little fledgling tradition.  She begins to read, but silently, which she has never done before.  In fact, she often wont stop reading anything she sees out loud to me, sometimes just as I begin to leave the room!  I fear she is upset because she has forgot she allowed me to transcribe these for her.  What you need to understand is that when Babu gets silent, it means something.  It means she’s upset.

I wait as she reads and eventually begins to laugh now and then.  Then she asks questions, continues to laugh and starts to read out loud.

I am constantly on watch for Babu’s mental capacity starting to slip.  I fear the difficulty of taking care of her if she begins to suffer Alzheimer’s or dementia.  Sometimes because it is what I am looking for it’s what I think I find, when in fact, the other shoe has not yet dropped.  Not yet.

She begins to read longer and longer passages out loud and by the end she thanks me for bringing these to her.  I see it for what it was now.  When the family flies in during March, from all corners of the country, her routine gets really thrown off.  Sometimes that is the best possible thing and all will get back to routine for her quickly enough.  April will be about settling back in and the only exciting thing might just be whatever passages can tear her away from her newspaper.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. barbwit says:

    I sympathize. Mum was an avid reader; her favorite book when she had Alzheimer’s was written by a sports-journalist friend, but the only thing she read over and over – and shared with me – was the author’s inscription to her.
    It’s therapeutic for the aged to be reminded of their past; you’re doing a good thing for Babu.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your posts remind me of time spent with my Mother in her last years. She was pretty cognizant of everything, and only had little slips in her memory. I used to watch her while she listened to music, or while she slept, or while she watched a movie. And we talked and talked, much of the time in the bathroom while I took care of her needs. It was the best and the worst time of my life, watching her inch her way out of this world, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. You will have such richness in your life as a result of your time with Babu and her journals. What a great blessing! Thanks for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

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