I’m thinking I may not even post this. I only need to write it. I just need some time to reflect. I have a confession to make. I took yesterday off from school just to get caught up on the blog. Not just posts, or replying to messages, or checking in on the blogs I love and seeing what’s happening there, (another confession, I haven’t done this part yet,) but the other stuff that goes into this project: transcribing her diary passages, looking through photos, organizing files so I can access them on WordPress, and looking for themes, more like threads, to write about, to tie things together.
And transcribing Babu’s passages made me smile.
And looking through photos left me, as always, a little stunned in wonderment.
Reading people’s joyful and understanding comments helped me feel like I had a community I belong to.
I’ve talked about The Wool Suit before, that feeling that I’m not comfortable in my own skin when I am not writing. As much as I know it, I’ve written about it, reflected on it, my twitter account is named for the phenomenon, I still underestimate the weight of that suit.
Writing and being creative helps me take the edge off. Helps quell a piece of the anxiety.
It’s also self care. I love this project so much. I love reading Babu’s quirky passages where she “watches the mail plane come in” or she’s slowing gaining more confidence playing piano in front of people or that she’s mobbed for dances every time she goes out. (Those links are to some pretty adorable passages. Check them out!) I love those moments where she’s not quite self aware but good for her! These pages are her kingdom and she is the queen. I don’t judge. I have already offered my fealty and will always remain her humble servant.