There’s been some talk in these pages that I’ve left out. It’s talk like this:
Thursday, September 7th, 1939
Jakey was certainly in a love-ly mood. Couldn’t get enough. Only for a while he put the lights out and I asked for them back.
Now, I am not here to dish on the juicy details of Babu’s love life, and it’s very awkward to read about it and more so to write about it. I am choosing to write about it today because it is either a very “lovely” thing about their relationship, or a sign of the morals of the time. Now, I am no anthropologist, and I am not even a historian, but…was it really expected that people, women at least, wait until marriage? And people followed it? It’s so old fashioned! I also think it’s so romantic these little blurbs about them wanting to, but not.
I also believe, from what I’ve heard about “old fashioned ideals” that Babu’s choice, and the choice she has made all the way up to this point, decided the outcome of her life. Quite possibly. A woman’s reputation was everything. And for some women that was all they had. Some women, like Babu, like many, maybe most, of the women of the time, gave up their jobs when they became wives. Who they married meant everything to their fate and their reputation meant everything to who they married.
I don’t know if she made that decision for that reason, because society just flat out expected it and she never questioned that, or because of her Catholic faith. It doesn’t matter. I would judge her no differently if it were different. I’m not just reflecting on this in writing because it’s how I process my reflection, or because I am sharing details of her life to honor it. Two of the many purposes of this project are to learn about Babu as a complete person, and the learn about history. I think this passage is very telling of both.