1. I feel wonderful when I relax. I also noticed that my down time is more productive when I’m relaxed. At home, with at least a low level of anxiety that is always with me, I don’t read enough. I don’t get enough sleep, enough sun, enough time looking someone in the eye and finding out more about them. I’m on apps. I’m cleaning out closets that don’ need cleaning, (well, they do, but who cares?) I’m checking my facebook feed again…
I vow to embrace and better spend relaxation time at home. It will never be the same as the kind of carefree you feel while on vacation, but it has to be given and honest go. I have set my alarm for 6:00 PM and after a productive day I will take that hour to do some relaxing.
2. I observe things clearly. Of course, on vacation, it’s new and you want to explore and learn. Yes, but, I have a beautiful garden at home, if I do say so myself, and even though I circle and circle the yard, bending close to see if the seeds took or if it’s just weeds growing in pots, I still don’t feel like I’m taking it in, absorbing it.
And when I do this, I find myself writing poetry.
I think by giving myself time to just stop and relax, I will get some of this back in my daily life.
3. I didn’t feel tired or upset.
4. I carry around a feeling that I don’t deserve something so good. And what makes it worse, is coming home to a mother whose allergies went crazy and arms got bruised taking care of my new pup and a sister who gets the house completely clean for me for when I return after she took such great care of my cat and my gram. I mean, it’s crazy, isn’t it? I start to do math. I take care of this elderly person and I have given up some things to do that, but I don’t have to work so this is my job. I try to be nice to others, I have done some volunteer work and been supportive of people in my life, but, but…everything from not recycling enough to the house not being clean enough to guilt for the times I loose patience with my loved ones… I carry around this big feeling of guilt when ever I’m not at home doing my job of taking care of Babu. Then this occurred to me: whether I deserve it or not, I find myself in these rewarding and rejuvenating situations, in beautiful places. If I am on the trip and feeling bad about it, I am really wasting a lot of time and everyone’s money aren’t I? It’s better to come back home feeling rested and ready to go. (First world problem, huh?)
5. The salt in the air in the water feels so good for my hair and my skin.
6. I learn new things in a way that is directly applied and never forgotten.
7. Traveling doesn’t satiate the urge. This shit is addictive.
8. I love the luxury as much as I do when I’m camping. Because both are about the beauty of nature which is what really floats my boat.
9. Standing at the ocean and staring into it makes me feel like my troubles are diluted and then absorbed in the vastness of the ocean.
Thanks for letting me share. Now go on a vacation of your own!