April A-Z: Absence

This is having no reason to keep 480 packets of Polident.

(We were unable to throw it out.)

An empty room.

(Filling with boxes to be sent.  This one to Tennessee, this one just down the street.)

2:00 comes

(routine, routine, routine)

and there’s nothing to do.

We have started to fill our time with moving forward.

Yes, I am still missing Babu greatly.  I am also missing this blog.  No, more correctly, I am missing writing.  It sorts and soothes my brain.  Life has been so busy, and for a little while it was a bit under muddy water, that self care went out the window.  When I get back to cooking fresh meals for myself, drinking water, and wearing something other than jeans, writing follows soon after.  I am back and I hope I stay back.  Writing about her is helping to ease the ache of missing her.  What greater inspiration than the April A-Z Challenge?

Here is last year’s post for A:

April A-Z: Alligator and a Crocodile

This is an inception link!  At the bottom of that post is a link for the post for the year before.

I realized quickly that the best way to deal with my grief is to try to live the best life in her honor.  I’m trying to find lots of joy, and yes, trying not to forget self care, and I’m trying to take advantage of the freedom and free time that comes with no longer being in care taking mode.  It feels disrespectful to put it like that, but it is the reality.  We don’t have to stick at home for her now and there are things we can do now we couldn’t do before.  She’d want my husband and I to take full advantage.

SO!  Back to writing, yay!, and maybe out of dodge mid-month!


6 Comments Add yours

  1. eschudel says:

    I liked what you said “We have started to fill our time with moving forward.” Welcome back to a place I hope helps you do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much.


  2. It’s good to have you back and yes she would want you both to live your lives to the full I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s