It is with an extremely heavy heart that I post this update. In fact, I’ve been avoiding it for two and a half weeks. We have lost Babu. She was a hundred and a half and she went peacefully and quickly. It’s been a hard holiday and long December. I’m in the process of healing and getting used to the whole structure and routine of my life being upended. I miss her. But I am looking forward to figuring out my direction and living a life in her honor.
The following is something I wrote after she passed and I thought I may say it at the funeral but decided against it. Here it is for you:
Babu led a long, healthy and full life. She raised a large family, she traveled, she loved completely, she cared for others, and I can’t imagine she had any regrets. I know all of this, but I have been trying to figure out why this is still so hard. She lived to a round 100 and there isn’t any more I could have asked of her. So why is this so hard? It’s hard because we are going to miss her. I am certainly not the only one but I am going to miss her terribly. I am going to miss all those “dzień dobrys” and “see you later alligators.” I am going to miss all those “gimme a buzis” and the way she greeted every day, every task, every moment with excitement and delight. She sought fun and laughter and when there was none, she made it. I will miss the way she would do this butt wiggle dance for laughs and because no walker was ever going to stop her from dancing. I will miss the way her voice got high and breathy when she got excited. I will miss how she always wanted to know if the sun was out. I could never stop listing the things I will miss but I am damn grateful for having had them. I don’t know why I am convinced of this, but I am sure Zosh was there to meet her first. Again youthful and giggling. Then Babcia and Dziadziu. “You couldn’t ask for better parents” she would tell me every single day. And then, the icing on the cake, Jake. Man, she really kept him waiting. Now, she is happy and at peace and with the ones she is supposed to be with.
This is nowhere near as important, but I want to let you know that the work on this blog, this project, is nowhere near done. Nor will I stop doing it. Right now there is a lot of behind the scenes work I am doing so it may be a while until I post. But never fear, you will be hearing more from me.