Yesterday, my mother came over and together we washed and set Babu’s hair. This was my second time doing it since her hair dresser that would come to the house retired and is no longer coming. Man, I miss her.
The first time, Adam took care of washing and my mother and I set her hair. That’s right, it took three of us to accomplish this task! So this time, I was a real nervous wreak. What about soap and water getting in Babu’s eyes? She’ll have to have her hearing aides out so she wont be able to hear shouted communications. What about her bending over the sink?
All the worry for naught. We got it done. It’s probably not perfect, but we got it done. Here is what is important. Babu spent all day looking for a mirror to see the back of her head. It took me way too long to remember I could snap a picture for her and show her the picture! When I did she was so happy. This showed me that this all really meant a great deal to her. She felt so much better about herself afterward.
And a shout out to my mother who came two weekend days in a row, and then again today partly because the process of doing Babu’s hair cheers her up, too! Go team Babu!
It’s hard for me to connect with Babu about these things, how setting her hair can make her feel so good. Why it’s important to her to put her rings on and lipstick even if she’s just going out to the doctor’s. I’m in no way a girly girl and Babu, clearly, is. I was so nervous to do her hair because I really don’t know how to do hair. Being a caretaker stretches us in so many ways but, so far, I have found out I’m up to each new task. (Phew!)
I’ve been kinda bummed lately because I’ve been worried about how bored, unhappy, unfulfilled Babu is or might be. I know she needs more stimulation and entertainment an even though I have already rationalized that Adam and I can only do so much, I feel I should be giving her more. She likes her routine but she could use more to cheer her up. I’ve splashed these flowers across her table, but that only does so much. I do wish I could do more.
Then my mother had this observation today:
“I love how she eats.” My mother says as we watched Babu from the baby monitor. It’s a real candid view into Babu’s life, not unlike her diary passages! “She looks over everything and selects what to eat next. Her pleasures and excitements might be small, but they are pleasurable.”
I heard you mom. And it is a great comfort.
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I love her expressions! Your are very blessed to have each other.
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I hope if I ever get to that state that there will be someone to care for me the way you care for her. My mother was like your Babu and didn’t feel dressed without her make up, etc. Maybe it’s a generation thing?
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I hope everyone has someone there for them. It is a gift for both sides. I totally believe it’s a generational thing. I’m a child on the 90s grunge era!
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